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Why You'd Never Want To Play Helldivers 2 In Front Of Your Parents

There are games for everyone, but not every game is suited to every gamer. Developers aim to meet their players wants and needs, which is why so many games feel like they were made for a specific niche audience. Some of your favorite games are ones that you'd never play around your kids, and others feel like they should be kept far away from your parents' sensitive eyes.

"Helldivers 2" easily lands on the list of things you might not want your parents to see. In fact, it's best for this particular game to stay as far away from the real world as possible. The internet clearly doesn't want to see it used for military recruitment, and most younger fans probably don't want to end up in an awkward conversation about it around the dinner table. On the surface, "Helldivers 2" might seem like a relatively safe game. After all, so much of the gameplay manages to recreate scenes from your dad's favorite war movie. However, the second you stop to really think about it, you'll notice that this is another game you might want to avoid showing your folks. Here's why.

War is a joke in Helldivers 2

Let's be honest, the best time for your parents to walk in on a "Helldivers 2" session might be sometime mid-mission, and even then they might not be thrilled. Maybe all the violence wouldn't be an issue — it kind of comes with the territory, after all — but unlike, say, "Overwatch," teams in "Helldivers" tend to take things especially seriously. Players act like they're really diving into war, and the fact that the role-playing is all part of the game's fun makes it nearly impossible to explain.

Let's say your parents walk in just as your team of grizzled space veterans is diving down to the surface of Malevelon Creek. Do you think mom and dad want to hear everyone talking about what they'll find on the ground in so-called "robot Vietnam," and do you really want to explain to them that it's okay to laugh maniacally while your buddies get blown into chunks by Automaton artillery? Between the parallels that players have drawn to real-world conflicts and all the gritty realism that Arrowhead Games managed to sneak into the combat mechanics, the humor of "Helldivers 2" is exactly the kind of thing you can't explain to someone who isn't part of the community. That's especially true if that someone is one of your parents.

Your parents are cruising toward the repurposers

You might think that hopping aboard your destroyer makes you safe from awkward encounters. While you're busy adjusting your loadout between missions, everything feels relatively calm and peaceful. If mom needs to walk into your room to remind you about next weekend's family reunion, now is the perfect time, right? Wrong.

Imagine your doting mom poking her head in to ask your opinion on dinner options just as this ad from Super Earth High Command blares over the speakers of your destroyer. You could get lucky and she might miss some key phrases in the announcement. Or, you could end up having to explain that the bio-repurposer vats are a perfectly humane way to help elderly citizens still contribute to the spread of Managed Democracy.

Best case scenario: your mom chuckles and walks away because no one can really understand kids these days. Worst case scenario: She grabs your dad, and they gather a bug out bag to escape your home before you have an opportunity to dump their aging bodies in the vats. Next Christmas you'll be left explaining to your Aunt Bernice why recycling old people is funny, actually, and how mom and dad just need to learn to take a joke.

Don't even try to explain Managed Democracy

Forget playing "Helldivers 2" in front of your parents. It's probably best not to even talk about the game with them. If you start a conversation about Arrowhead's industry-breaking new release, you'll quickly realize that even discussing the game's meta narrative takes you into the two topics that very few people want to discuss with their parents: politics and sex.

Do you really want to explain to ma and pa that you're playing a game about a global authoritarian regime (posing as a democracy) that tasks you, a completely disposable soldier, with terrorizing planets to secure power throughout the galaxy? And that it's all played for laughs? Maybe they'll get the satire, but there's no guarantee that they'll appreciate the commentary. You could spend at least an hour explaining the idea that just because you're blasting bugs with rifles, it doesn't mean you're pro-fascism.

You think you can avoid explaining your video game's anti-capitalist viewpoint by focusing on the goofy Major Orders and action movie-style battles? Well, remember that time Helldivers failed a Major Order and the people of Super Earth lost their rights to have sex? Yeah, maybe just don't do it. Avoid the conversation and pray for peace, soldier.